Merry Christmas

While this year’s christmas may have been more of ‘chrismeh’ here are a few things to be thankful for;

1. Relationship twitter giving us fire Jpegs:

It is no news that these particular set of people are hell bound on showing the rest of we single pringles fire most of the time and this christmas was not any different. I actually thought all the ‘redness’ in literal terms we observed today would hve been preserved for Feb 14, but hmm, wahala for who no get matching PJ.

Anywho, anyone intrested in ‘Me and mines’ with me next year, it will do us both good if you speak up now, may we begin save money for christmas tree and cloth.

2. Food:

Well unless you were involved in the cooking process; The people at home have forgotten that I am a bad bitch and reduced me to dishwasher but it’s all good, by this time next year I will be in the Maldives snapping pics with the love of my life.

We don’t kill chicken in my house because if anybody bring live chicken to this house, e don turn housemate be that. So if you were involved in the vigorous process of murdering a poor defenseless chicken, Shame on you. (Typing this while holding chicken lap).

3. New clothes:

As at the 24th of december, 10 pm, the tailor I gave cloth to amend had dissappeard into thin air.

It is funny now but I promise you it was not funny then, his phone was also not going through, my mind was already thinking up reasons I will give Jesus for not turning up for his birthday.

But don’t worry, I stood under that streetlight until the mad man reappeared. I did not even share with you the reason behind this sudden amendment, hmm, all I can say is don’t give your mother’s tailor cloth to sew, so she will not turn off shoulder to round neck and make the cloth very loose.

4. A fantabolus way to slide into DM’s

You may be a very toxic brother but a ‘Merry christmas’ attached to the right emojis may grant you access back into the poor girl’s heart.

So go ahead, send it with such intentions, and destroy her life you pawn of satan.

5. Gleetzmag:

Yes ooo,We are thankful for Gleetz magazine because they steady brought us content and gave me a job hehe!  You can show your gratitude by sharing this article with all your loved ones.

Merry christmas and happy new year in advance from us and ours.