Being Nigerian 101

“I sure say you never use road travel before”

Said the obnoxious cab man as he got enroute dominos pizza.

I remember letting out an uncanny giggle, if we looked like our problems MEhnnn.

Anyway I don’t think we speak well enough on the emotional trauma, the 2-week prayer and fasting and mental preparation that comes before the travel. Here are a few things that happens before a trip;

* Knowing in your heart of heart that you may die on the road and well daizit

* The fact that your driver may decide to drive like a snail and whatever appointment you had plans to meet, just cancel it.

* Do not and I repeat Do not tell anyone you are travelling

* Be at the park at least 3 hours to your departure unless you want to be stranded there and follow Akure bus from Lagos.

Now after the trip, you experience severe regret and you ask yourself;

•  Was this journey even necessary

•  Your body goes into lockdown for a whole day

•  If you’re like me you get malaria, I’m not even over exaggerating this one

•  You swear on your life that you will save money for flight for your next trip….this usually yields no fruit.

•  You swear for the government for bad roads, no train, inflated flight tariffs and generally the fact that they are shitty.

After the trip, it may seem like you are over exaggerating these things you go through but we feel you, your feelings and hate for this country are completely valid.

Next time a cab driver asks me “you don travel for road before” maybe I’ll give him a descriptive explanation of Abuja-Lagos road.