Hopefully, this new Nigeria has not made the price skyrocket past its level of normalcy because without banger how are we going to celebrate the rollercoaster that was this year?
You can decide to look yourself indoors till the 31st of December, that way everyone can appreciate you on January first and the joke of ‘I haven’t seen you since last year’ will make sense because you have been in hibernation.
Hear me out, A few Christmases back we saw people dress up in really cute fits with their significant others and children by a tree, don’t you want that? So fall pregnant now, we can worry about the rest later
Take a loan in your grandfather’s name and run away to the village:
Because in the village no one will ask you for the source of your wealth, leave all these city people with their sense of morality and go to where it is popping and your worn-out Toyota Coralla (uber car) will be a Benz.