If you know anyone who has tried any of the things on this list, then the person has automatically been absolved from complaining about being broke.
And if there is a purge and we are asked to eat the rich, eat them with salt and pepper because they are rich and are trying to disguise, but we, the gatekeepers of Sapa, will not allow such.
1. Sparkling Water: Only rich people can remember to take time out of their busy days to drink water, even worse if it is sparkling water. Pure water is 20Naira!! We are still trying to get used to bottling companies – who are even drinking bottled water.
2. Sardine: Call EFCC immediately and NAFDAC, NDLEA and INEC because this person is either looting money, selling drugs to get money, selling subclass sardine at a bargain-basement price, or is campaigning for tinubu. And they should be arrested for all of the above.
3. Two eggs: At the beginning of this year, a crate of eggs was worth 1000. Now it is 2000, and the year just got to the half. If you know anyone who still eats two eggs in one sitting, they are into blood money.