101 reasons why you shouldn’t try BDSM in Nigeria

Welcome to my ted talk, I organised this meeting because it has come  to my knowledge that despite all the suffering going on this country, you people still want to add extra suffering.

I was joking about that title btw, I also do not like suffering and will not be giving you a 101 reasons, that would be disastrous to the health of my fingers. But for real, you people are really doing this risky sturv in nigeria?
Where everything is done with severe frustration, anyway if you were thinking of embarking on that journey, I’m here to tell you otherwise because;

1. I don’t think awa ancestors fought slavery so you can buy handcuff that went abroad and chain yoursef to bed, Funke! I’m talking to you.
Haew God, what if key loss?
May we not see evil things.

2. Your parents most have bon plenty of you. For an individual to willingly give themselves for flogging, laishe you did not do your assignment (when it is not like you did not do assignment), You people are plenty like a football team bah?
Daiz why you want to put yourself in harm’s way.

3. I really wonder the tales you would tell Nigerian police if paraventure they caught you with those canal instruments.
Scenes like; “My lord may I, may I my lord. “

4. Just imagine your partner was stuck in traffic before you people’s sturv and as they are striking you with belt they remember the vexation from earlier that day and light teasing turns to excessive towai! towai! towai!

How will you explain to your family members that all the marks on your body is from having sex with your gilrfriend?, Is she a lion?
hehe, laughs in celestial church.

In conclusion if you know you seek to be brutally beaten or maltreated you can spit in a soldier’s face, they do usually have premium courses in things like that, I hope you find the arousal you seek.

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Kofoworola Odozi

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