Footy lovers: How to survive this football season

Everyone talks about how spouses of football-obsessed people intend to survive the start of a new season, but no one talks about the crippling mental health that comes with being a football stan, and we see you, and we are here for you.

Your pain, too, is valid; because of this, we have curated a small list of things you can do to make this more palatable for you because you matter.

• Check-in your sick days: Because it is hard to keep up with the world of football when the cooperative world binds you, FUCK capitalism.

• Break up with your partner: If you are married, leave that marriage; anyone that makes it hard for you to express your love for the sport does not deserve a time of your day.

• Sell your kidney to travel and watch your matches live: The cost of kidneys and hearts has gone up in the market, so if you sell, you will have enough money to travel and watch your precious matches in person.

Unpopular opinion from yours truly, Kofoworola.