What to do if they break up with you

This is a sequel of our post “how to break up before Valentine’s” and is for the strong hearted, the kind of people who drink alabukun and smash the bottle on thier head, screaming “ode ishi”.

1. Pretend to be shocked: on the event that your significant other or a person who thought they were your significant other proposes a break up just form pain and move on to your main piece. This life is not hard

2. Take matters into your hands: more like take it into the hands of those who can handle it effectively, if you get what I mean *wink wink*

3. Go while you still have your pride: dis Kain tin dey pain but don’t worry god dey, this is why number 6 is highly recommended.

4. Collateral damage: Guilt trip them into taking you back, maybe break a few Bones and appear at their doorstep in a cast.
That will definitely work.

5. Prepare a mind changing meal: Good sex is sometimes all you need to change a bad decision, don’t take my word for it.
Really, don’t!

6. Tie them down: it’s no coincidence that this follows number 5, a word is a enough for the wise.

7. Flex with your gang: breakups never really bothered you cause you have the best friends in the world.

8. Get creative: they think they’re smart with that text yes? Well I think you should show them first to do no dey pain

9. Feign ignorance: If it’s a text ignore it. If it’s a call ignore it, if it’s them in your face ignore it, all nah cruise. You see this couple thing it is do or die.

10. And if all the above suggestions don’t work for you, beg: Doing this in public would be best if you lack shame and know they are too kind to be rude.
But if it is otherwise, sorry oo, revert to number 3.

Tenks and God bless.